Is it real: No desires, no passion, no expectation, no jealously...nothing is there....!

Day by day life is getting more complicated. Am I taking life too seriously or really it is getting harder and harder? The biggest loss is I have lost my dreams. No dreams at all. I fear having a dream. No dream at all. No expectation. No goal. Nothing from life, world or person. A saddening loneliness prevails in my mind. A habit to live alone has kept me so deep that I fear even intermingling with people I don't like. It's like i don't want to put mask on my face, It's like I have become straightforward and don't fit in the rules of world. to be pretend to something else. May be world has moved so fast,  People are more practical and I am being too childish or idealist I don't know.


Today or tomorrow, every body you think you are close to is going to hurt you knowingly or unknowingly and its true somehow I am thinking to believe over it.

A deep loss, I have lost my passion. I fear moving to unknown territories of any type. Fears of failures haunt me even when they have not come yet. Past experiences have kept their effect on me so badly, I am unable to take decisions right now. I now doubt my decisions, based on outcomes of my previous decisions, weather the next one I will take, will be better for me or not, I don't know.

A flair, a motivation may be negative or positive, a competitive attitude, jealousy, learning....nothing is left with me....only a cold dead attitude of letting everything go.....let it be as it is....like i am  defeated. A sadness has scared so deep in my heart, it is unable to heal anyhow.

I see, people are moving ahead in their life, but with me, I am stuck fully, no desires, no dreams. nothing. this so cold attitude, i dread over so much changes in me.

Desires I have lost them. is it sign of concern or I am getting mature?

I am getting so f***g insane...!! The self discovery is haunting.....! Is it the reality of life??

(# Love yourself # 01) ~ Forgive yourself for your mistakes and stop being hard on yourself..!

Yes ! I agree Guruji..! Our mind is like a super computer, or you can say much more superior and complex than it. technically it has also RAM and ROM type of memory. But then why, some events, we are not able to forget?

He argued to his mentor or Assistant teacher, he met him during a ten days Vipasana course, a retired professor. And on Sunday, he and many people like him sit together and practice together, it's like a brotherhood, a brotherly feeling for all, for the world.
 And he has many questions to ask, and he never stops asking and arguing, until he is satisfied with the answers.

Suppose your hand is tied to a pole, and you try to move, will you? until you either  open or break your chains??, Guruji questioned back.

Image source: http://www.leahdipascal.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/BrokenChains-500x285.jpg

No! I have to set myself free, i have to break or open the chain. then i will able to move from that place, he said in affirmation.

Yes! you are very near to the solution of your question. The truth. the memories, the events, who haunt you, who make you upset, who create turbulence in your mind, they are just like chains, and you are mentally tied to them dear. Acknowledge your mistakes, accept them, accept them as they are, accept that you did them, and you are prone to do mistake and in future you will do again. then half of your problems end. If you accept that you are just like every one and doing mistakes in life is normal thing, then you will learn the art of being calm in any situation. and if you remain calm, you will able to forgive yourself for doing those mistakes and you will have a softer attitude towards yourself. And if you stop hating, cursing yourself, automatically you will start loving yourself. Yor alone are the best judge, best defense, and  best prosecution. And if you accept yourself, you see yourself, you will create a vibes of change around you. If you forget your past mistake, it means you are breaking your mental chains, and now you are free to move, free to discover new path, you are free from unusual and unnecessary burden, and a new dawn will begin.