I, childhood & Sparrows dancing, flying, chirping everywhere

Disclaimer: Image taken from Google Searched Images

This is all about the time when i was a kid, more exactly a school going kid....and the locality i am describing was a small village market along with temporary bus stand surrounded by lots of neem, pipal and other trees, where every Tuesday & Friday there was gathering of villagers, shopkeepers, buyers in form of haat for sell n purchase of crops, vegetables and other household items under the shades of trees. this haat was rich resource of food for many common birds including sparrows and there were plenty of trees for making nests. early in the morning, when i used to go for a walk, i have seen flock of sparrows  jumping, dancing, collecting food grains from the haat, and i used to go near slowly slowly, to catch one of them....but as soon as i go near them....all of them fly to nearest trees and chirp nonstop....as a kid i was fascinated to them...to their sweet voice and often wonder why their voice is so sweet n not mine n used to copy them chirping...a very beautiful scene is to see a flock of sparrows flying high in the sky in evening time....this was the time when around 30-40 sparrows were present in my home or near my home on tree as resident and i used to go to rooftop of my home with handfuls of grains in my little hand and keep it there and then watching sparrows eating at my roof....chirping.....jumping..dancing, flying....some taking food grains in their little beak and to their nest laying on the visible branch of tree near my home to feed their younger ones. at that time practically there was no need for any alarm clock....i used to rise in the morning due to sweet chirping song by them.....i used to ask my mother..why they chirp and collect food even on Sunday..there sud b holiday for them also.....and my mother used to smile at my silly questions hard to answer. it was a fun time to sit on the roof of my home and watching pair of sparrow collecting straws of grass from nearby fields for making their nest on the nearby tree whose branches were over my home....!!

“Nothing comes free”

I have read somewhere: “Nothing comes free”.  You have to pay for everything you do, in this world, in this f**ing world.  Even the ads you watch on TV, this comes free with that, they are all lies, there is always a hidden cost or a hidden motto that will lead you to pay for that free item today or tomorrow, for sure.

Nothing comes easily, you have to put your best effort for achieve anything and I know, deep down my heart, I have got nothing easily, nothing free. I know the value of hard work and dedication and know that it doesn’t get wasted. It pays, it pays today or tomorrow. But why I fear? Why I fear, taking risk in my life? Why I fear doing something I want to do right now, why I have to think about future. Screw it, live in present, forget about past and future, but a man learns from his past mistake and plans for his better future. But what about his present? What about his desires, his wishes, do they not matter in life?

God!! I am again talking to myself. I am talking again. This mind never stops thinking. It thinks again and again, roam over topics, do they matter anymore, I don’t know.

Heart says, do what you like, and my mind reminds me of it consequences. It reminds me of those wrong decisions, which I took in past and their consequences and i think he is right, he is 100% right. But will life not be very boring, by calculating every moments and steps, before actually taking them, will not life be very dull, by being practical always. Heart wants to take me in his grip, he tells me to do what I want in my life, to run behind my dreams, wherever they take me, may be to the sunny beach or a dark cave, it doesn’t matter. At least I will be happy inside, that I did, what I wanted to, but what about the dreams and responsibility of your towards others? Mind questions.  What if your dreams lead you to dark cave, where you would be lost, but what if I go through the dark cave and see the new morning, and I will breathe the fresh air, and I will feel the morning sun.

Man learns from his mistake, and I wanted to do them, I want to take decisions, may be they are wrong, but I want to, because I want to, and I will learn from them. I don’t want to be perfect any more, I don’t want to be perfect example of a successful man.  A child, he does what he feels, he touched fire and get burnt his fingers, he cries, but see him after some time, he would be laughing again, no pain, no remorse of touching the fire, he laughs spontaneously, he cries easily, I wanted to be a child again, forgetting the calculations of world and it’s worldly relations. But how hard I try, I know I can’t do this…!! And atlast my damn mind wins over my heart, and here I am practical, very practical.