lost soul 2

Wednesday, 23 April 2014

“Nothing comes free”



I have read somewhere: “Nothing comes free”.  You have to pay for everything you do, in this world, in this f**ing world.  Even the ads you watch on TV, this comes free with that, they are all lies, there is always a hidden cost or a hidden motto that will lead you to pay for that free item today or tomorrow, for sure.
Nothing comes easily, you have to put your best effort for achieve anything and I know, deep down my heart, I have got nothing easily, nothing free. I know the value of hard work and dedication and know that it doesn’t get wasted. It pays, it pays today or tomorrow. But why I fear? Why I fear, taking risk in my life? Why I fear doing something I want to do right now, why I have to think about future. Screw it, live in present, forget about past and future, but a man learns from his past mistake and plans for his better future. But what about his present? What about his desires, his wishes, do they not matter in life?
God!! I am again talking to myself. I am talking again. This mind never stops thinking. It thinks again and again, roam over topics, do they matter anymore, I don’t know.
Heart says, do what you like, and my mind reminds me of it consequences. It reminds me of those wrong decisions, which I took in past and their consequences and i think he is right, he is 100% right. But will life not be very boring, by calculating every moments and steps, before actually taking them, will not life be very dull, by being practical always. Heart wants to take me in his grip, he tells me to do what I want in my life, to run behind my dreams, wherever they take me, may be to the sunny beach or a dark cave, it doesn’t matter. At least I will be happy inside, that I did, what I wanted to, but what about the dreams and responsibility of your towards others? Mind questions.  What if your dreams lead you to dark cave, where you would be lost, but what if I go through the dark cave and see the new morning, and I will breathe the fresh air, and I will feel the morning sun.

Man learns from his mistake, and I wanted to do them, I want to take decisions, may be they are wrong, but I want to, because I want to, and I will learn from them. I don’t want to be perfect any more, I don’t want to be perfect example of a successful man.  A child, he does what he feels, he touched fire and get burnt his fingers, he cries, but see him after some time, he would be laughing again, no pain, no remorse of touching the fire, he laughs spontaneously, he cries easily, I wanted to be a child again, forgetting the calculations of world and it’s worldly relations. But how hard I try, I know I can’t do this…!! And atlast my damn mind wins over my heart, and here I am practical, very practical.

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An idealist, a perfectionist... perhaps i am rebel, or don't fit in the materialistic thoughts and norms of the world, i don't see the reason, why ppl are fighting, why everyone is not at peace??
I m keen lover of art, Love sketching, experimenting in photography, sometime i get swayed to follow my passion for art for full time, but  then...still i have to make arrangements for my livelihood.

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