lost soul 2

Thursday, 13 November 2014

why i cant say, I love you!!!!

Why I hesitate to talk to her, when she comes in front of me?
Why I can’t tell her directly when she comes and sit with me?
Why Is it so tough to tell her these three words?
Why I always think about her, when she is not around?
Why I try to steal her a look, when she goes with other girls, 
why my eyes fall on her?
Why I am waiting for her call whole night?
Why  became so excited about a smily, she just sent me as a reply ?
Why her all message are saved in my mobile, and I cant delete them?

She is friend, just friend.

But then why she comes in my thought? and make me laugh, make me cry, make me feel excited all the time?
she is not just a friend...
she means to me something else.....
she means to me more than just a friend......



When heart wanted to say many things, it doesn’t come to lips. He prohibits lips to say and himself enjoy the whole play.

I wanted to say, I wanted to tell, and perhaps she wanted to listen, but whenever I go to her, I talk to her, I sit near her, I use to talk everything, but the main topic, the main line, which I have to tell, and I swear always that I would tell today, doesn’t come on tongue and I repent, when going away from her, that today also I couldn’t tell her, today I couldn’t express my feelings for her, make me restless and I am thinking all the night. I know she knows, I love her, I love her so much. But till when this process will go on!

Someday I have to make everything clear. 
Someday I have to tell her, that she is so much valuable for me. 
She was, from the first day, I have seen her, she is, when I know her fully, and she will, whether she will be mine or not.

Say VP! Tell her, how much important she is for you, tell her, how much you love her……!

But why it doesn’t come from my mouth, I feel helpless to express my feelings. 
I don’t think I can express my feeling in words, and how much time it will take to say all.

May be she knows everything. 

Girls have third eyes for everything, specially, when someone is attempting on them, someone has soft corner for them. 
But what if, if she is not like others, what if, after telling her my feeling, she lessens talking to me, what if, after proposing her; it makes our friendship to a dead end. 
At least I have her as a good friend, maybe she will say yes, maybe she will not, and if she denies, relationship will be complex, quite complex, I will not able to talk her as the same friend, and neither I will see her as my love.

There is a fight going inside me. Just have courage and say her. And the rest is not in your hand.

No, let it go! Two chances, either I will get my love or I will loose a friend. Don’t mix friendship with love. 
But she was never my friend only. She was always my love, from the first day, from the first sight, I began to love her. But who knows, what she has feeling for me?

Alas! I would be a magician, who can read the thought of a person. It’s so easy. Be practical, use your brain. Just say her; just tell her, it’s so easy.

I was walking on my relling of the room and this question was striking my head, I was unable to make a decision, to propose her or not, am I ready to hear her response, whatever it is??

No, I am not! 

If she denies……….

no…….! 

Why not? 

Don’t think…..!

Why not?

Think if she says yes!

Yes!!!!

OH god!! I will be happiest person of this world……!

I will be luckiest person of this world…..!

Two words, yes and no, and just simple words of three and two letters and they have power to change my life……!

Someday I will ask her…!

Someday I will say her all…..!

But when your someday will come VP?

When, it will come?

It will come…!

And I will tell her, how much I love her……!

And then she will say, she also loves me….!

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An idealist, a perfectionist... perhaps i am rebel, or don't fit in the materialistic thoughts and norms of the world, i don't see the reason, why ppl are fighting, why everyone is not at peace??
I m keen lover of art, Love sketching, experimenting in photography, sometime i get swayed to follow my passion for art for full time, but  then...still i have to make arrangements for my livelihood.

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