lost soul 2

Monday, 23 January 2012

who, I'm, a day dreamer..?????

 I was forcing myself very hard to listen to the teacher. I heard, he is explaining the working process of thermal power plant. Suddenly my eyes changed their direction from board to her, I was seeing her sideway, one lat of hair was coming again and again on her face, disturbing her. she was tucking it behind her ears and I was trying to hide my smile at the dare of her lat, who was having one work, to come in front of her face.
I saw, she is listening very attentively and was noting down in her note book, so beautiful handwriting!!
Pen was dancing in her soft fair hand with some bangles, creating a very slow rhythm
                                                      "music with writing"
                                                       "or musical writing"
                                                       "or magical writing"

I wished, I had been her pen, at least I would be in her soft hand. 
I observed her nails coloured with pink nail polish, pink bangles. 
I opened back side of my note book and began to draw her book, her pen, her beautiful soft hand…~and her ..lips ans her face!!!
Suddenly teacher shouted, “Where are you”.
I became attentive, thank god!!
He was shouting at Rajesh gupta, who is always busy in messaging her so many gfs, in class he messages, and out of class, his mobile is always at his ear, and whole day he talks, what, god knows, and he too has so many things to talk to them….!
I saw, she stopped, she stopped writing for a while, teacher was telling the need of ID fan for the poweplant, and she was listening very attentively. 
She does every work full heartily, may be its dance, study, or anything.
I saw,pen was going beyond his limit, he touched her pinkish lips and I can still observe how lucky he is, getting mark of her lipstick on his shining metal cap.
I breathed out, I am jealous to the fate of the pen, which becomes happy, laughs at me, and sometimes touches her lips too.
I wrote a caption below the sketch I made today:

I wished I had been “U”
Holding her b’ful hand,
Smiling, dancing,
At her command,
Yes! I am jealous!
I’m jealous at “U”
I sigh, wen I see “U”
Kissing her lips,
Pinky, rosy n thin.
I wished, I had been “U” Pen!!
 Doubt alias shivam gupta, who has doubt in everything, and who arises question everywhere, was sitting behind my chair, took my notebook, saw it for ten seconds and then said, “ wow! Pic and caption both are amazing”.
I took a relieving breath.
“but, I have a doubt”
“doubt and his limitless doubt, don’t eat my head”
“are you saying something?”
“no! u were saying”
“ohh! I have a doubt, who is she?”
“just an imagination”, I lied.
Then my notebook moved in to whole class room, from one hand to another, then finally to the other side of rows of chairs and then second row, where she is sitting along with other girls.
I saw, Swetha has taken my copy and showing her, she gazed at the sketch continuously, then looked at me, I was caught, I at once looked toward the board, then I saw towards her again like a thief.
“ufff!! They were looking towards me”
Swetha smiled. I saw she is still looking at me.
“has she realized, it’s her sketch, n lines…..!”
Then at the end of the class, I got out and like all day I was the last, behind everybody, walking alone.
I was thinking, “What she had been thinking about me after reading lines, she may have been happy, may be not, but her pinky rosy thin lips, and I couldn’t help me but smile.
"Vikki, wait!"
“ohhh! It was Swetha with her and they are coming towards me……my heart began to beat faster!
Is she angry?
Is she going to shout at me?
Swetha came near and then we three were walking together.
Swetha asked, “who I she, in today’s sketch”
“Just an imagination”, I told.
“Ohhho! really mere an imagination?” Swetha asked again.
"yes", i told,"don't you belive this"
What I should tell her…!when she knows it's her friend or my sweet heart's sketch.
I saw her, but there was no any reaction on her face, no change and this Swetha is teasing me continuously.
Ask her friend and tease her, why me…!
She asked for my note book and 1st time she closely observed all my sketches.
And first time, she praised me.
“U make very b’ful sketches”
“but not b’ful as u”, slip of tongue, "ohhhh!! god!!"
But she smiled.
And I smiled too.
 And we were in front of my hostel, and I have to go to my hostel.
She waved her hand and said byeee…..!
I waved my hand too…..!
Today I became very happy. She responded to me, she talked with me after so many days and praised me.
I went to mess and in excitement I ate very less and came back to my room.
And I was smiling. I was happy.
I opened my notebook and again reiterated that poem” pinky, rosy and thin”
She is really b’ful and I love her, may be some day she will also love me….!
I smiled and thought, “That day will be the best day of my life when she will accept that she loves me also”

Dreams and human being!!!! he lives in dreams and try to chase up them, and so am I, chasing her, after all she is my dream, she is my dream girl, and I am enjoying  this all experiences of my life. I am sketching pictures and destiny is also making my life colourful and this shade of life is amazing, thinking about her, smiling at her response, looking, what she has dressed up today and how b’ful she is looking today.
"She comes in my thought,
And smiles comes on my lips,
She comes in front of me,
And my heart wants,
To See her always"
Am i day dreamer.....!!!!!

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An idealist, a perfectionist... perhaps i am rebel, or don't fit in the materialistic thoughts and norms of the world, i don't see the reason, why ppl are fighting, why everyone is not at peace??
I m keen lover of art, Love sketching, experimenting in photography, sometime i get swayed to follow my passion for art for full time, but  then...still i have to make arrangements for my livelihood.

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