lost soul 2

Thursday, 15 December 2011

Look at me, Look at me once plz...with ur smiling face, i m dying to see that..!!!

She is listening attentively and I am watching her through the corner of my eyes.
I see the whole class, is someone watching me, looking at her? But everyone is busy in their own business.
I see people, some listening whole heartily to the teacher, some playing games on their mobile, some doing internet, some reading magazine and materials of CAT, IAS and many more. 
I should have do the same, but what I am doing? I try to listen to the teacher, and understand the reason of tube leakage and starvation inside the boiler, but hardly 2 minute and my heart, my mind, my body do revolt against me. My eyes deny my command of not looking towards her, my mind denies my command of not thinking about her, and again I am staring at her.
I am helpless. Three days have been passed and I have not got a single chance to talk to her, sometime I think, why I can’t able to talk to her, why I become silent, like she makes my mind blank and I am lost in her speaking eyes somewhere, why my heartbeat become fast, when she is nearby me and I begin to fight with myself.
She talks to Radhika and smiles and there is dimple in her cheeks. 
I got reason for my smile, she smiles and I smile, she looks so lovely, so cute, so innocent. when she smile, it’s like thousands of flowers are blossoming everywhere, it’s like hundreds of cuckoos are singing altogether, it’s like heaven is coming on the earth along with my angel, who is as innocent as a newly born child, and is as beautiful as a goddess of love.
I thought, someday she will smile for me, she will look at me with love in her eyes for me, she will say that I am yours. How 80 minutes passed, looking at her, thinking about her, and she has not seen towards me once. She is studying and I am thinking about her. She is writing and I am watching her. She is smiling and I am smiling with her.
 I say silently in my heart, look at me, look at me once. But she doesn’t look away from her notebook. I think, today class is worthless for me. But still I am saying, plz look at me once, and she just looks towards me for one second, but her response is blank, and again keeps her eyes on her notebook. 
No reaction, no smile, like she is ignoring me. Then she says something to pd and pd sees towards me and whispers with smile to her, something, which I was not able to listen and then she see me again and then both laugh and then they close their notebook and class become over and I get nothing about boiler and then both of them rushes very fast to the entrance of the classroom and thus another day is passed without talking to her. I come out and behind everyone; I walk to my hostel.

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An idealist, a perfectionist... perhaps i am rebel, or don't fit in the materialistic thoughts and norms of the world, i don't see the reason, why ppl are fighting, why everyone is not at peace??
I m keen lover of art, Love sketching, experimenting in photography, sometime i get swayed to follow my passion for art for full time, but  then...still i have to make arrangements for my livelihood.

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