lost soul 2

Friday, 10 April 2015

may be she does exits some where, may be she doesn't.

After so much time i am compelled to write.
I don't want to, but i have no option.
i was busy, very busy, a goal was keeping me occupied, and that is over. all my MBA interviews are over.
And all i have with me is an emptiness, like i don't have any thing else to do. it's time to get relaxed after so much hectic time, office, target from office, study, preparing for interview, then running Kolkata and Mumbai for  interviews. and it's over. 10th April, last interview of season, Nitie Mumbai is over.
Most of them i have screwed.
hope, it has left me. aise bhi having no hope is better than having hope. 
it doesn't disappoint us.
But i am afraid. what if i don't convert any of good call.
Does it matter so much.
come on, nothing is so much important in life.
Destiny must have thought something good for me.
Something good, may be in future.
Suddenly i feel so alone.


i go out side.
i run.
i run after at least 4-5 month.
no physical activities from nearly 4-5 months.
i feel exhausted. 
i feel very bad.
i need  to work out.
i am out of form.
i run faster.
i breathe faster.
i stop.
i sat on the ground.
i see the flood light.
i feel good.
i am tired.
my face is red.
but i feel good.
i feel lightness.
i need a long term goal to keep me occupied.
i need a passion to keep me fascinated.
i need an addiction to keep me out of thought.


may be i need some one in my life badly.

some one, who is  close  to my heart.
some one, who can like me, in spite of all my flaws.
some one, whose smile get me forget all my worries.
i think i am being insane.
or i am too much occupied in my thoughts.
may be may be not.
may be she does exits some where,
may be she doesn't.
may be she is just my imagination.
may be i am too ideal for this world.
may be i am just a lost writer,
just a poet,
just a alone person.
may be,
may be not.

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An idealist, a perfectionist... perhaps i am rebel, or don't fit in the materialistic thoughts and norms of the world, i don't see the reason, why ppl are fighting, why everyone is not at peace??
I m keen lover of art, Love sketching, experimenting in photography, sometime i get swayed to follow my passion for art for full time, but  then...still i have to make arrangements for my livelihood.

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